Shan Pin Koh's Blog Travel, Photography, Food, Randomness


Misguided Year

It's Christmas day and it's a bright one. I couldn't help but reflect on the past year. I sit here another year later... I spend this time to think about what I've accomplished and not in the past year.

Looking back now, it seemed like ages ago. This year started so so. I've believed my New Years Day reflects the year that I would have. This year, I felt a little misguided. Let's see. The year started busy like any other. I was in transition to my new role - learning what I needed to do as I go. Things moved fast and I learned just a little more each time. I must have spent the first quarter worrying if I did the right thing - switching roles. In some ways, I think I did. In some ways, I don't think I'll ever get to find out.

In June, I learned why I shouldn't meddle with others who have an agenda of their own. They won't let things go. It may also seem like I had an agenda of my own. I had a vision of doing the right thing and getting through a path of what others wanted but couldn't express. I felt like I understood what was being expressed and was acting on it. Anyway, learned now that I should let things go the way they should.

The funny moments, with some hint of irony, is some guy thinks he did us all a favor by negotiating the best deal possible. Perhaps in his own way, he justified himself by getting a discount for what was previously high for industry. Looking back now, I learned a little more than I wanted to. This past week, I learned that perhaps it is not the others that needed the clarity - it was me that needed it. Others don't want it.

Also in June, I tried to show my mom a good time by taking her on a trip around the west coast. Slowly I learned that sometimes even the best intentions can be turned upside down really quickly. Looking back, perhaps I shouldn't have said the things that I have said. Another example of a misguided year that I've had.

I can't say for sure that my year will be different next year. I just don't know what is ahead. So many different moving parts and I can only control one thing at a time. 2013 will be here before I know it.

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